“Go out of the room[…] sentence” (34).
Rewrite:
‘Go out of the room; return to the nursery’ Mrs. Reed said reacting to the look Jane had given her. Mrs. Reed was clearly and irritated by Jane. Jane left the room for the moment, but she quickly returned, walking to the window and the close to Mrs. Reed.
Jane felt the urge to talk. She had been treated wrongly so much, but did not know how to react to Mrs. Reed. She had to think quickly. She gathered up the courage and energy to speak.
Analysis:
The difference in the writing style makes the story completely different. It is harder to feel a connection with Jane. She seems more out of control than mistreated. The story also loses the emotion used to capture the reader. I do not feel as involved in the story as I did. It is nice to see and understand all the emotions of Jane. The 3rd person view also makes this story a little less enjoyable. 1st person is the way the story was written and it should stay that way.
