Journal Entry 3: A Kid Who Gets Bullied

10/30/08

Today was rough.  Just like every other day.  “Hey loser.  Watcha doin?  Why are you so lame?  You suck at life.  What’s the point of you even being alive?”  I hear comments like that all the time.  And sometimes I really wonder why I am alive.

Everyday I go through the same experience, but today was worse.  I sat down with my friends in the morning.  “Hey faggots.”  One of the seniors said as he walked by.  One of my friends gets up and walks out of the cafeteria and gets shoved to the ground.  I know if I get up to help the same thing will happen.  I’m scared to just be in my own school.  I have no idea what to do.

I get up to go to my locker as quietly as I could.  I tried not to be noticed.  I thought I had succeeded until I closed my locker and saw that familiar face.  It was Jacob.  “Hey buddy, you have my homework?”

“No.  Why would I have yours?”

“I thought you understood that you were supposed to do my homework every night.  Well since you forgot I will just take yours.”  He grabbed my notebooks and found the homework he needed took it and walked away.  “Thanks buddy. See you later.”

I’m too afraid to even try and stick up for myself.  And for what cost.  I will just get beat up or made fun of.  This is not how life should be.  What did I do to deserve this?  

After school I hurried to my locker to get my homework and ran to the bus stop.  That was usually the worst part of the day.  I hated the bus stop, and the ride home.  Today seemed to be better.  I saw no one from the usual crowd of “cool” kids.  I thought I was safe.  Just as I was about to leave Jacob and his friend Chris jumped on the bus.  Great.  

“Hey buddy.  What you doin all by yourself?  Come sit with us.”  I knew it was not sincerity in his voice, but hope.  Hope for a possible laugh.  It kills me a little on the inside that they use me for amusement and I don’t do anything to stop it.  My life has to change.  I just don’t know when or how.

Journal Entry 2: A Pregnant Girl

10/29/08

It's been 3 days since I was supposed to get my period.  I've never been this late before.  All  I threw up when I woke up... not a good sign."Could I have counted wrong?"  "What if I'm sick?"  And worse of all "What if I'm pregnant?"  I have no idea what to do.  My parents have no clue that I have even touched a boy.  

   I had to talk to Rob.  I had no idea what to say.  I really like him, but I do not know how he feels about me.  He's the first boy I've ever really gotten close to.  

I saw him all day and couldn't build up the courage to talk to him.  Finally after school I built up the courage to talk to him about what happened.

"Hey Rob, remember two weeks ago?"  "Of course, how could I forget?  It was awesome."  "Yeah well about that... You wore a condom 

right?"

"No. You said you were on the pill..."

Those are words I never wish I heard.

"Rob, I never said that to you!!! I've never had sex before why would I be on the pill?  Are you that stupid.  You said you loved me... how could you be so careless?" Tears started to pour down my face...

"Why are you making this such a big deal... I forgot.  I promise it won't happen again."  And then a sudden silence came over him.  He realized why I was so upset.  "Oh shit, your not....

It's not a big deal... I'm sure you're fine."  I could tell by his voice that he was lying.

After school I went to the store and bought a home pregnancy test.  I saw a little happy face appear.  

That couldn't have been any more wrong.  I have never cried so much in my life.  I have no idea what to do.  God help me....

Rebecca

Journal Entry 1: Depressed person

10/20/08

Today sucked again.  What else is new?  Everyday seems worse than the day before.  Essentially it feels like each new day is the worst day of my life.  I do not know what to do with my life.  Today I woke up late... again.  Of course my mom didn't make it any better by yelling at me and causing a scene.  She always has to cause a scene.  No matter what I do somehow she has to tell me how my brother is better.  I can't do any good in her eyes.  

So yeah I got to school late for the third time in two weeks.  I got a detention.  Well my life really can't get any worse so it doesn't bother me too much.  I would be spending that time by myself anyway so it gives me something to do.  I failed my physics quiz again which wasn't a surprise.  Mom will make a big deal about that too.  She will probably throw in a comment about how Dave never fails any of his tests.  I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT DAVE DOES!!! I'm done listening to her crap about Dave.  Really, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do with my life.  I don't care anymore.

To make today worse it happened to be freshman beat down day.  I shouldn't be upset about that since I'm a junior, but I still received a beating.  Not because they wanted to, but that no one could remember that I wasn't a freshman.  The worst part about it is that the kids who beat on me share the same locker row with me.  Just goes to show how much people notice me.  I feel like I have nothing to live for.  I do nothing right.  I really don't wanna go through this much longer.  I can't live this way.  No one should.  I need help that I know I won't get from anyone.  Why does MY life have to suck so bad?  What did I do to deserve this?  I really don't know.  Well I'm done for now.  I'll be sure to write on the next worst day of my life... tomorrow.

Brainstorming notes for a depressed person

• make every situation negative
• discuss why people don't like me
• bad grade?
• made fun of by others/ not popular
• parents fight/ dislike me
• abused physically/emotionally
• seem to do nothing right
• always someone who does better
• little bother/sister who always does better; parents like them better
• not good at sports
• can't open up to others
• no desire to achieve anything
• no desire to do anything

Letter to my future wife (5)

Baby,

I love you more than you ever will know.  Ever since the day we met my life has only become better.  Each day I see you, my heart is filled with joy.  I am so lucky to have you in my life.  You are my world.

Everyday I see you; it is the best day of my life.  You constantly make me smile.  No matter what I will always love you.  We both know our lives aren’t perfect.  We have the times where we fight, but what makes a true relationship work is the ability for a couple to recover from a fight.  We have that ability.  We are perfect together.  I love you with all my heart.

There are days where I come home and I hate the world.  I see you and no matter how upset I am, you somehow manage to cheer me up.  Seeing your beautiful face, or hearing your soothing voice brings a smile to my face because I know that I am the luckiest man in the world.  I do not know what I would do without you.  

I wanted to let you know how much a truly care for you.  Many people toss around the word love like it has no meaning.  Those people are fools.  Love is the greatest emotion you can have for an individual person.  True love is the greatest form of love, and I truly love you.  I love you with all my heart, body, and soul.  I want to be with you for the rest of my life.  I love you.  You are my world baby.  I never want you to leave my side.  

Love always your endearing husband,

Andy

Letter From Your Body Part to You (4)

Dear Andy,

You seriously messed me up.  I’m never going to be the same again.  Thanks dumb ass.  You couldn’t have taken a play off.  You fractured me and continued to play. What were you thinking?!  If you had taken a play off maybe I wouldn’t be broken!  Nice job.  I hope you’re happy.

I know that you love playing football, and it is hard for you to stop, but you have to realize how it affects all of you.  Every time you step on the field I hurt, and I know other parts of you feel the same pain.  Your shoulder is still in pain from your freshman year where you conveniently didn’t tell anyone about the pain until after football season was over.  Your head and neck are always sore from your helmet.  Your legs are constantly sore from the running you do, and your arms are always cut up and bruised from the beatings you take at practice.  Why do you put yourself through this almost everyday?  It is stupid.  You should quit and get healthy.

I know you will never do that so my luck is out.  I just hope you will take it easy on me.  I have a crack from side to side.  I will never be able to be straight again.  I am swollen so much bigger than your other pinky.  It sucks so badly.  Every time you try to make a fist I hurt.  Every time you pick something up, I hurt.  Any time you use your left hand, I hurt.  Please let me heal.  I don’t want to be hurt for the rest of our life.  It is not fair to me.  Just because you want to do something I have to suffer.  It is just not fair.  Please take what I have said into consideration.

Sincerely,

Your Left Pinky

Letter from Animal to You (3)

Dear Andy,

I know we haven’t really been talking lately but now are the time.  I’m not feeling the same as I used to.  I’m getting so old.  I used to love to play fetch with you and now I feel like I can barely move.  Life is harder than it used to be.

I age differently than you.  I grow older at a pace seven times as fast as you do.  It is not easy.  I feel like crap everyday.  I can barely get up and down, never mind walk up and down all the stairs in the house.  I know I shouldn't, but I hate being alone downstairs.  Everyone is always upstairs.  I just have to be with you guys.  It’s my job to stay by your sides, but it gets harder every day.

I know I have made your lives difficult lately.  I cannot do the things I used to be able to do before.  I wish I could.  It’s hard for me to do anything now.  I love you all for putting up with me during this time period.  I feel sick, and you have been taking care of me.  I thank you.

I feel as if I do not have a lot of time left with you anymore.  I am about 100 years old now (14 human years).  My time is running out.  I want to spend my last few years happy.  I do not want you all to be mad at me for what I do.  I know I make a mess of everything now and I promise that if you give me the chance I will try my hardest to change for the better.  I really do love you for everything we have done with each other over the years.  I cannot explain the feelings I have for you.

Love man’s best friend,

Bosco