10/30/08
Today was rough. Just like every other day. “Hey loser. Watcha doin? Why are you so lame? You suck at life. What’s the point of you even being alive?” I hear comments like that all the time. And sometimes I really wonder why I am alive.
Everyday I go through the same experience, but today was worse. I sat down with my friends in the morning. “Hey faggots.” One of the seniors said as he walked by. One of my friends gets up and walks out of the cafeteria and gets shoved to the ground. I know if I get up to help the same thing will happen. I’m scared to just be in my own school. I have no idea what to do.
I get up to go to my locker as quietly as I could. I tried not to be noticed. I thought I had succeeded until I closed my locker and saw that familiar face. It was Jacob. “Hey buddy, you have my homework?”
“No. Why would I have yours?”
“I thought you understood that you were supposed to do my homework every night. Well since you forgot I will just take yours.” He grabbed my notebooks and found the homework he needed took it and walked away. “Thanks buddy. See you later.”
I’m too afraid to even try and stick up for myself. And for what cost. I will just get beat up or made fun of. This is not how life should be. What did I do to deserve this?
After school I hurried to my locker to get my homework and ran to the bus stop. That was usually the worst part of the day. I hated the bus stop, and the ride home. Today seemed to be better. I saw no one from the usual crowd of “cool” kids. I thought I was safe. Just as I was about to leave Jacob and his friend Chris jumped on the bus. Great.
“Hey buddy. What you doin all by yourself? Come sit with us.” I knew it was not sincerity in his voice, but hope. Hope for a possible laugh. It kills me a little on the inside that they use me for amusement and I don’t do anything to stop it. My life has to change. I just don’t know when or how.
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